Steel by Carrie Vaughn

1 Star (if that)

Book Rating: PG

Language: G

Sex: G (There is literally one kiss).

Action: PG (Swords fights, description of someone getting their leg amputated).

Substance Use: G (Underage alcohol consumption).

Where do I even begin? I went into this book thinking it was going to be a rip roaring pirate adventure, what I got was a terrible main character, a plot put nearly in the exact essence of Pirates of the Caribbean and major historical inaccuracy.

First, I'll try to explain the main character, though I really don't know anything about her. There's Jill who is as bland as rock soup. She barely talks to anyone, she mopes and moans the entire time after her fencing tournament and while she's on the Diana. You would think that after a month, someone would get over their lousy tournament and start trying to do something about it. She's a pathetic character with no personality.

Then we have Henry, who is always joyful and merry and always smiling, which is about all the description we have. I found it funny how he automatically became the love interest because our main character thought he was "cute." I felt nothing between the two. There was no chemistry, no slow burning passion underlying their feelings. It was just, "Oh! He's cute. I think I'll kiss him now." The whole relationship, (if it can be called that), felt forced and unnatural. (AND THEN WHY IS SHE GOING AROUND KISSING BOYS SHE KNOWS SHE'S GONNA LEAVE AND BREAK THEIR HEARTS)?! I'm seriously so confused by the book.

And then we have the historical discrepancies that drove me crazy. I like to pride myself on knowing everything there is to know on anything that interests me. The Titanic, 17th century pirates, medieval England, and so on and so forth. The author spent a good part of the book describing the ship and how it works and how the sails are raised and lowered, how to rid the ship bottom of barnacles, how the deck was scrubbed and why. I'll give her that. She obviously did countless hours of research to find out how a pirate ship was run three-hundred years ago. To be honest I did skim that part as much as possible. It took away from the story and I was finding my eyes roll back up into my head. I picked it up to read a novel, not a How To book on 17th century sailing.

Now, the historical inaccuracies. One, they had a woman for a captain. I'm not saying that's not great and everything, but under no circumstances would there be a woman pirate in the Spanish Main. Yes, the orient had female pirate captain, but back east the world was run differently. The only two well known female pirates were Anne Bonny and Mary Read. Anne was only out and about because she fell in love with Jack Rackham and he insisted upon her coming with him to sea. So she did. Mary Read was only out because Jack Rackham became jealous of Mary and Anne's relationship, thinking Mary was a boy, and hence, she was discovered.

Two, under any other circumstances in history, Jill would've been killed or held prisoner or raped at least if she was pulled out of the wreck of an enemy ship. If she were a man, it would've been different. I didn't buy the whole thing that she was brought aboard, told to fight one of the crew and was patted on the back like a small child who just went potty for the first time.

Three, the crew captured a slaving ship, full of slaves, ready to be sold at the nearest port. And what do these TRUE CARIBBEAN PIRATES do? They release their bonds and set them free in the nearest cove. Now, I know for a FACT, that it would never happen. Those slaves are their salaries. That is a bunch of money for them that they would be turning loose. I'm not saying it's right, but if these people were any sort of true pirates they would've sold those slaves. Most don't have a good bone in their body. Pirates are criminals, first and foremost, and the fact that the author realized that but still brushed it off as making the pirates the good guys, irritates me. I don't understand how this is supposed to be historically accurate.

Next, we have some characters who just showed up just to be there because the author ran out of ideas and decided to add insignificant characters that add nothing to the plot. We have Nanny, a former slave who has a weird relationship with the captain and it is never explained why. Then we have the surgeon who I thought was going to play a bigger part, but all he did was whine and continually tell Jill he could help her get back home. Why? I don't know. It was never explained. The characters simply lacked any dialogue. If there had been more, maybe more character development so I actually cared about them, yeah, it would have the potential of being a good book.

The whole ending of this book was rushed. There was a fight, which I assume was supposed to be epic and wonderful and it turned into two pages of poorly written swordplay that I had trouble following. There was no climactic ending, no heartfelt words between out two supposed love interests. And you know what? The bad guy, who was written for us to hate, I ended up liking him the most. He was the most interesting out of everyone! He actually had a goal in mind. A reasonable, regular bad guy goal.

And now, to my favorite part that just sent me over the edge and almost had me stop reading at the seventy-fifth page. The broken magical sword that Captain Cooper tied to the end of a rope and had it guide her to the bad guy's ship, to the revenge she wanted most, the other half of the sword. Does this remind anyone of a specific magical compass belonging to Captain Jack Sparrow?? Some originality in this book would've been nice.

So, moral of the story kids, if this book can get published, then so can you.