PLUS--A MILLION STARS TAKEN AWAY FOR THE USE OF THE PHRASE "HIS ADONIS LOOK"
(From 40% in)
Book Rating: Idk, PG-13? Never actually finished it so I can’t say
Language: PG (a**….)
Violence: G (THERE’S LITERALLY NO ACTION)
Sex: PG-13 (Talk of sex, Trik is using his tongue all over Cassie and pushing her against things)
Drugs/Alcohol: PG (Teenage party with underage drinking)
I’d first like to say that I see I am in the minority with this book. It has an average of over four stars on Goodreads which actually surprises me. I have a bad habit of hating books that most people love. I respect your opinion if you loved this book and it is not my intention to purposefully insult anyone, so if you’re looking for a brilliant review, it’s not gonna be here. This review will fully trash this book.
I saw Elfin for free on BookBub and was intrigued by the description. Teenage girl accidentally sees an elf in its true form and her life is immediately forfeit. Cool, right? Unfortunately, this book did not deliver on this promise of action and adventure. Triktapic (what a name, amiright) is the best assassin for the dark king of the elves. He kills people and likes it. Cassie is just an ordinary girl with extremely hot parents and a goth girl for her best friend. Trik runs into Cassie and knows she’s his Chosen Mate and that he’d do anything for her. Cassie is not fazed and is like, cool, he looks dangerous, locked in this dark closet with me as he tries to seduce me with his playboy ways, but I love him too. Literally 15% into reading the elves that were going to kill her were like, “Hey, she’s a Chosen of the big bad assassin, we not gonna kill her. She cool.” So that’s it. Trik follows Cassie to school, makes out with her when he’s invisible in the middle of school, says misogynistic things, and cheats on her not even 30% in. WHAT A GRAND ADVENTURE.
I usually try to give a book a good chance until the 50% mark, but I could tell at 40% that I would not be able to stand these characters anymore. I had to put it down. Not only was the plot one of the blandest plots I’ve ever read in my life (Vampire Kisses was even better), but the characters hurt my very soul. I can’t count the number of times I rolled my eyes at the things the characters said, did, and thought. I’m betting on a solid 23 times. Everyone was exceptionally boring. So to start off this rip-roaring adventure of analyzing characters, we’ll start with the man I hate the most, the dark assassin himself, Triktapic.
Trik: glossy black hair so dark that it’s almost purple, seductive, playboy, desperately in love with a human girl he met in a closet and is constantly concerned if she’s “legal” or not. I have never hated a male character more than I hate Trik. The boy was born over a millennium ago but he still acts like a seventeen-year-old boy who thinks he knows everything. You just give him a mirror and he would stare at his reflection for hours. Ironic that he uses mirrors for traveling. What really bothers me about him is that he is a borderline sociopath. He’s always telling Cassie what she can and can’t do. When she was at a party with her friends having a good time, he swept in there and kidnapped her without her consent. He then went on to tell her to stay in her room until he came back for her and got frustrated when she asked him why. The author makes this out to be romantic. It is not romantic in the slightest. My best friend’s emotionally abusive boyfriend did these exact things to her and it destroyed her inside. It is the opposite of romantic. Not to mention that Trik treats Cassie like a child.
Cassie: I can deal with her. She’s basic in the most literal sense of the word. I don’t think we even got a description on the girl. All we know is that she has big boobs and that’s about it. Cassie aggravated me at times, but she was simple; a character that wasn’t terrible. The problem I had with Cassie, besides her being overwhelmingly basic, was that everything Trik told her she took to heart. When he kidnapped her from the party, she didn’t say a word, just accepted it. When he told her it was “unbelievably” happy that she was a virgin but told her he’d slept with many girls, she didn’t even blink an eye. So like it’s cool for him to sleep with an unnumbered amount of women, but it’s not okay for her to sleep with anyone but him. He then makes her feel uncomfortable and makes her wonder if she should have more “experiences” with other people before settling on him. When he tells her to stay in her room until he comes back and not to leave the house because it’s apparently dangerous, (why? Everyone’s chill with her now), she just silently agrees with him. He treats her like a child and accepts it without another thought. LIKE, GIRL DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE THAT IS?!
Elora: Cassie’s best friend who happens to be goth, is the only one to think Trik is just a joke. I like her for that reason. Otherwise, Elora is one of those people who thinks she’s funny but really isn’t and everyone around her laughs at her jokes that make no sense just to make her feel better. And that’s Elora’s character.
Pretty much my beef with this book was with the characters. The dialogue was awkward between them and unconvincing. I had no clue why the light and dark kings and queens were included in the POV’s, but I forget their names already. I think they were trying to be relevant but they just ended up taking away from the story.
My second big issue was with the writing itself. I’m unconvinced that the author even had an editor. I ended up highlighting so many grammar mistakes and awkward sentence structures that I’m sure if I got through the entire novel that my iPad’s memory would be long gone. For example, the author used the word “waiver” when saying “making sure her voice didn’t waver” or using the word “hall” when saying “she’s going to haul your pathetic looking form to be examined by…” I don’t think I could have stood any more of those mistakes, but that’s just how extra I am. It was just common things that every author should know, like the right form of words to use or where a comma should go when using quotation marks. The simple things. It drove me crazy.
The whole book was incredibly cheesy with the whole insta-love thing and the make-you-want-to-hurl lines and the lack of anything actually happening that was worth my time. It was like bad fanfiction. I wouldn’t ever suggest that you pick this book up.
“She wanted to pull away, yet she also wanted to wrap herself in his arms, to have him touch her, kiss her, love her.” (Chapter ONE)*Check out my other reviews --> here <--
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adjö,
lauren
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